Of my upcoming colonoscopy.

Not of the procedure, although I know prep isn’t going to be pleasant, but of the possibility that I might have cancer.  A second cancer that is.  I’ve noticed a change in my bowel habits and tried to chock that up to my adjusting to a new hormone normal but there is the little voice in the back of my head screaming what if it’s cancer. I’ve already learned my lesson about dismissing the possibility.  It doesn’t help that it is the third leading cause of cancer-related death among women.

Yesterday was all the lab work for the rheumatologist.  They took 12 vials of blood!  12!  I also received a cortisol shot that made me feel funny and had some x-rays of my hands taken.  Insurance is going to LOVE me. This is why we have insurance to get the care we need.  It SHOULDN’T be about them making a profit.  So now that I have all that lab work done there is nothing left for me to worry about but the colonoscopy that is scheduled for next Monday.  I guess I will know pretty quick if I have polyps but other than that I’m not sure what to expect. I ordered my prep kit today and will pick it up tomorrow.  I’m not going to eat meat after today and I have been good about not eating popcorn or chia seeds, even though I miss them.

After that fun-filled Monday, I return to Clinton on Tuesday to learn about the results of everything done yesterday.  I’m curious to see what all tests were done and what they show.  12 vials of blood after all. I know I shouldn’t be worried, but I am.  I’m having a lot of tests done and seeing a lot of doctors the odds of them finding something are pretty good.  Just please don’t let it be cancer.  A bleeding hernia I’m fine with but not colon cancer.  Please.



One thought on “I’m scared.

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