like a fat kid collects candy on Halloween…

Oy!  I thought I would post an update, not that I actually think anyone is reading this anymore, but mainly so I have a chronicle of appointments, visits, tests, etc for personal reference.  If you are still around and not sick of me complaining/venting over what is going on a little gold star for you for caring.

Okay, so here is what happen when I visited the GI doctor.  I spent about ten minutes in the office before he came in and scheduled a colonoscopy for me.  Fun.  I’m trying to not flip out here and only marginally succeeding if I don’t obsess about it too much. Not for the procedure itself, I know prepping for that is going to suck, but that little nagging voice in my head saying “what if they find cancer” is doing its best to drive me into panic mode.  My logical self is trying to tell me that it is probably just a bleeding hemorrhoid.  No big deal.  Then the doctor tells me that his father’s colon cancer was found because he came in for a bleeding hemorrhoid and just feeds the panic monster a big juicy bone to chew on until August 14th. I know it is important to have this screening but I’m scared.  I’m worried that the fatigue I’m having or even the bleeding itself is due to cancer.  That maybe it spread to my uterus from my colon in the first place…  What if, what if, what if….  It is better just to not think about it and have the test done.  Easier said than done.

Then we move onto Monday’s apt with the ear, nose, and throat doctor for the sjogren’s.  That apt lasted about 10 minutes.  Long enough for her to tell me that it was too early to see her and I needed to see a rheumatologist first…  So she scheduled an apt with one and I went back to the doctor today to see him.  Have you lost count?  That is a total of six doctors that I am now seeing, well five, but they might send me back to the ear, nose and throat doctor later.  From one to six in about seven months, even I am starting to think it is in my head a bit.  It’s not, and all of this didn’t come about because of my cancer and hysterectomy.  I have most likely had what ever is wrong with me for some time now but simply ignored it.  Now that I already faced a huge fear, getting cancer, I might as well get to the bottom of this as well.

Today’s apt went alright.  The doctor was nice and very, very, completely thorough.  I was there for an hour and a half!  For an initial visit!  I was almost late to work!  Anyway, he checked me over and scheduled some fasting tests for next Monday and wants to see me in two weeks.  He thinks I have arthritis, my bloodwork indicated inflammation, and he said my joints were swollen.  I need to be fasting for the blood and other tests on Monday but he also wants me to have a gout test, that might be why my arm has been hurting for several months now.  He also does think I might have secondary Sjogren’s syndrome but we need more tests.  Alright, let’s get them done then.  In for a penny in for a pound.  I want a definitive answer either way.  Also maybe we can deal with my sore elbow and knee, I mean why the hell not.  I was just going to live with it but maybe I don’t have to.   That is so typical for women, right,  we will just live with the pain rather than go see what might actually be wrong and try to fix it.

Husband went with me today and he is going to be my mandatory adult for the colonoscopy but after today’s long apt I think he might be done.  I don’t blame him I would love to skip too.  He is being supportive but just hopes they get to the bottom of this and cure me.  I have explained that there is no cure for these conditions but it is hard with diseases that aren’t visible.  When you have a broken leg people can see that.  When something is going on out of sight it is harder for others to really get that there is something wrong.  He cares but he is also ready to see results and so far there are none to be had.

I was so hoping to be the exception and have some blood work and bam a diagnosis.  Nope.  Looks like this is going to take a while.

In the meanwhile, I am continuing to try to clean up my diet.  When I eat cleaner I feel better.  Last weekend I ate some foods I shouldn’t and instantly felt like crap.  They didn’t even taste good I just ate them because the husband was eating them.  That shit needs to stop now.  So my goal, for now, is this; No bread/gluten, No dairy besides yogurt, and eat as much fresh whole food as possible.  I don’t want to cut meat but plan on limiting it to some wild caught fish and chicken, no red meat or sausage.  I am going to allow eggs too.  I’m not cutting nuts, eggplant or potatoes.   I am going to try to be better about the sweets as well and absolutely no processed foods.  The dietary changes are going to be challenging but if I start feeling better it will be worth it.

That’s all the updates I’ve got for today.  I’ll let post more after my next doctor’s apt.  All of this is frustrating but worth it in the end.  I will know what I’m facing and the lifestyle changes I need to make.  Also, I want to feel better.  Who wouldn’t?


Almost forgot.  The estrogen is working well.  I’m feeling more upbeat and the hot flashes are calming down a bit.  I’m going to continue for now.



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