But I need to vent.
I hate Mother’s Day with every fiber of my being. I am in such a foul mood that I need to get it all out of my system before it ruins my weekend. (too late) People get to bitch about Valentine’s Day but say a bad word about Mother’s Day and all the sudden you are a monster…
So, let me tell you why I resent this day so much.
What are we celebrating, really? We are celebrating a biological function that we share with many other animals on the planet. Do we bring flowers to cows when they give birth? No we take their children away from them and turn them into dinner. What I’m saying in the act of mothering is nothing special. It is a very common behavior so why do we need to put a woman on a pedestal for simply giving birth and raising her young. It is stupid. We should honor people who aren’t contributing to the over-population of the planet. That is far more responsible choice in my opinion.
Then there is the aspect of celebrating your mother, grandmother, aunt, etc. Hate this aspect of the day a little less but still feels like salt being rubbed in an open wound. My mother died when I was 12 and I can honestly say I don’t think we ever celebrated Mother’s day once when she was alive. You see children are self-centered assholes until they develop the concept that others exist. That they are not the center of the universe. So having not reached that age I am pretty sure we didn’t do anything about Mother’s Day while I was growing up. My Grandmother was a bitch that showed absolutely no interest in our lives so why the hell would I honor her. She made it absolutely clear that we were nothing but a burden, an obligation that she resented. My extended families are essentially a strangers. So yeah, my family sucked and probably contributed to my piss-poor attitude when it comes to this day.
Basically I feel left out. I feel like society is telling me that there is something wrong with me that, that I don’t belong, that I am less than. All because I don’t have children and I don’t have a mother. The constant bombardment of advertisements and social media posts and displays in stores… ALL of it for weeks on end telling me that I don’t matter. That I essentially don’t exist as a woman because I didn’t want children. ENOUGH. I’m sick of it. It makes me mad and I want to bitch about it.
My marriage is not less than. My life is just as valid and full. I contribute to society and deserve to be honored too. But I don’t want to be patronized with posts or attempts to “include” me in this stupid fucked up corporate holiday that is essentially just a marketing ploy.
You see the thing is I do feel like a mom. It’s not as “prestigious” as mothering a human baby but I love my animals. Yet I get no societal rewards for taking care of them. For seeing that their needs are met and making sure they have happy fulfilled lives. My pets don’t get government-funded schools to educate them. I don’t get tax breaks to help ease the financial burden of their care. I don’t get to take days off work when they are sick to take them to the vet or to stay home and care for them. I get nothing. Nada, zip, zero. I get no respect for my mothering.
I can hear the argument now. But those are just animals you choose to keep. To me they are not just pets. They are my family and bring me JUST AS MUCH JOY and just as much sorrow as your children. Yet if one of them dies is my grief respected as much as yours if your child dies. Hell no. You see yes, I do choose to have pets just like you choose to have children. So why is one choice celebrated and the other not even recognized. Pisses me off.
So no I won’t be celebrating this weekend and my mood hasn’t really been improved by venting all over the internet because I know it won’t matter. I know that I am going to be wished Happy Mother’s Day all weekend simply because I am a woman and I am going to reply with
bite me a society approved thanks and move on. I refuse to spend the day explaining to strangers that I’m not a mother and do not have a mother because then you get that fake ass oh I’m so sorry for your loss or that you could never have kids spiel. Ugh, another aspect of the day that I hate.
I hate Mother’s Day and that’s not going to change just like society isn’t going to wake up and realize how stupid celebrating a biological function is. (someone once pointed out to me that motherhood is more than just the act of giving birth. I totally agree, when I stay biological function I mean all aspects of raising children from birth to kicking them out the door) I’m just going to sit in my little corner and stew. Play with MY children, the feathered and furry kind. You know the good type of children that can essentially take care of themselves after a few months and don’t talk back.
Mother’s Day Sucks.