Hello everyone that is still following this blog.  [listens for chirps…]

Thought I would take a moment and check in to let you know how post-hysterectomy life is going.  So far pretty good I think.  I still have some ups and downs.  This week after five days of exercising for five days in a row my body decided to rebel and force me into two days off.

Menopause seems to be getting more stable and then turns around and decides to try on a new symptom for size.  So while the hot flashes, that haven’t gone away, are getting more manageable I now have severely dry skin or experience crashing fatigue.  It’s all kinds of fun trying to guess how menopause will manifest itself on any given day.  Not.

Last week I did have my mammogram and it went well.  I wasn’t nervous and it wasn’t as awful as I had feared. I think I have a high threshold for pain because being squished by the machine wasn’t a big deal.  They did call me the next day to let me know that absolutely no lumps were detected.  I instantly broke down into a big old ugly cry of relief.   I guess I was a tad bit more concerned than I thought I was.

So now I guess I just move forward with trying to adjust to menopause and work on rebuilding my strength without overdoing it.  I need to keep in mind that I had a freaking organ removed, it was major surgery and I can not just jump back into life like it was no big deal.  Release to normal activities or not.

I do find myself reflecting on the past few months, just when my brain needs something to chew on.  I find myself grateful for the experience.  Not that anyone wants to hear they have cancer but I’m glad to have had this happen.  I feel like I know myself a bit better now.  I learned more about what I can handle, what I can face, what I value.  I learned that my husband truly does love me.  That he is going to stick with me through tough times.  I also learned who my friends are, who has my back, who would miss me if I left.  This was a learning experience and I am not going to take it for granted.  I am also not going to take this life I was given for granted either…

One thought that did bother me after my diagnoses was what do I have to show for my life?  What have I contributed to this planet? What is my legacy?  I am afraid I came up with not much as an answer to those questions.  I think that might be alright.  I don’t need to have this monumental event or idea or product.  I can make the world better by being kind, entertaining others, opening their eyes.  Simple things that we all do every day add up to so much.  We all have contributed to this world in one way or another.  That is why we are all valuable.  Why we all matter.  Why we will all be missed.  This experience has taught me that.  I matter.

Well, I’m not sure when the next update will be.  I don’t have another appointment until July.  If I think of something I want to share I’ll share it otherwise thank you.  Thank you for listening.

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